December 21st 2012.... Yes, it was the last day of the Mayan calander and it was also the day Ray cracked up his sled and almost Died. Yes, and the weird thing was ....... the sled had 21 miles on it.
So there I was.... 10:30 Friday night. It was me, Lou, and todd sitting at the Fredric Inn bar having a good meal. It snowed like a son of a Bitch and the Groomers were out doing what they do. I was just finishing up my Mexican dish and Lou and I were anxious to get out and get back on our new machines. Yes, you see I had just purchced a 2013 Ski Doo Renegade and this was my maiden voyage. So far so good. We rode from Grayling and were just enjoying our late dinner. Well, Time to leave.... guys.... Say happy birthday to the fat girl and let's Roll out. Fired up the sled..... o man this thing is cool.... looks like 12 miles on her.... looking good.... I decided to lead the pack going back to Grayling.... Man this thing runs good.... You know what..... (Warning this is where I'm embellish the story) I decided to stretch her legs a little... throttle up.. I topped off at a cool 110 MPH... it was breath taking, the power, the poise, the ultimate responsibility of having such awesome power at your fingertips was exizilarating.... I came blasting around the bend at damn near light speed, When the call came thru the helmet head set. It was Todd, "Ray your approaching terminal velocity, are you ok at the speed" .... "Todd, please... don't tell me what to do" just at that point i felt the machine jump to life... yeah, Crack it on!!! Coming around a slight bend in the trail at close to the speed of Fuck ... I just caught a glimpse of it in my perifireal vision. A log the size of a wooly mamoth leg was sticking out of the fresh groomed snow... I hit it with enough force to kill a new born calf. Twisting, turning, white hot metal, molting rivers of ash seared my pick flesh as I screamed in agony. I knew that i was seeing a white tunnel open in the fabric of space and time as my body folded into a ball. My head hit every tree, trail, and todd stool along the way, at this point my legs were severd off and my hands and feet were blobs of goo rapped in a skin membrane. Finally as I came to rest and so did the sled. I heard the faint sound of a boy weaping. It was Todd, He was a mess, he had saw the reaper come for me. But, wait..... Can this be? I was Ok? Yes!!! Yes!!! I stood up, Like a grizzly bear fresh from the grave, not even a scratch, I felt like a million bucks. The sled was damaged, but not unrepairable. I learned a lesson that day. God loves me.
Jan 5th 2013.... Dave Cloutier.... Ski Doo 800 Seizure
Incident Report:
Death of the Hammer Sled:
On jan 5th, Saturday at approx. 1:00 p.m. Captain David Cloutier had and issue with his Blood and guts Ski doo MXZ 800. Apperently dave was traveling in excess of mother fucker and he sled cried uncle and puked. You see dave is professional rider but he rides a amature sled. This sled was never meant for the ass whipping that captain dave was able to dish out. It was a most unfortuate dave for young master dave. The others in attendence were as following: Captain Ray, Captain Lou, and Captain 1st Class Albertson. There will be funeral arangements for the decesed machine. Then the rehabilitation starts and a new child is born. You see, the MXZ isn't dead. Dave is the Snowmobile Messiah.... He spoke and the sled responded. Resurection is scheduled for next week. Thanks Lazarus.
Daves Excuse:
Bad Gas
Death of the Hammer Sled:
On jan 5th, Saturday at approx. 1:00 p.m. Captain David Cloutier had and issue with his Blood and guts Ski doo MXZ 800. Apperently dave was traveling in excess of mother fucker and he sled cried uncle and puked. You see dave is professional rider but he rides a amature sled. This sled was never meant for the ass whipping that captain dave was able to dish out. It was a most unfortuate dave for young master dave. The others in attendence were as following: Captain Ray, Captain Lou, and Captain 1st Class Albertson. There will be funeral arangements for the decesed machine. Then the rehabilitation starts and a new child is born. You see, the MXZ isn't dead. Dave is the Snowmobile Messiah.... He spoke and the sled responded. Resurection is scheduled for next week. Thanks Lazarus.
Daves Excuse:
Bad Gas
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Jan. 25th 2013 "The Ditch Pickle Pops a spring"
As Lieutenant "Hard On" Monks was at the helm of this outstanding machine. He was in excess of 105 MPH when one of the Spring Block Decided to come loose and send one of the springs into the tunnel at a tremendous velocity. Hard on was't hurt but Thank god the WBL is always prepared. We brought tools and a Giant. You See, Lieutenant Mike Killer Kwanza is a Literial giant and was able to hold the sled up with one hand as we dropped the skid on the trail. We limped the Pickle back to Gaylord which was about 25 miles to the south and stopped at C&S to get the parts to repair the pickle. The Fine folks at C&S let us use there tools and facility to repair the old girl and we were on our way.
Captain Ray's NDE
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